We are honored to have in-residence a true humorist in Dr. Hall Elner, the following is a sample of some of his humor.
#1. “I’m ashamed of you,” the mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do.”
“He threw a rock at me!” the boy said, “So I threw one at him.”
The mother stated emphatically, “When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me.” The boy quickly replied, “What good would that have done?
My aim is much better than yours.”
#2. A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!”
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.”
The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, “Read all about it, Fifty-one people swindled!”
#3. Two elderly gentlemen were talking over coffee.
“I guess you’re never too old,” the first one boasted. “Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she’d be interested in dating me. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t quite understand it.”
“Well,” said his friend, “you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive. They don’t mind being the one to ask.”
“No, I don’t think it’s that.”
“Well, maybe you remind her of her father.”
“No, it’s not that either. It’s just that she also mentioned something about carbon 14.”
#4. A man and a woman who had never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both go to sleep, she on the lower bunk, he on the upper.
In the middle of the night the man leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.”
The woman leans out and says in a sultry voice, “I’ve got a better idea. Let’s pretend we’re married.”
“Hey, terrific idea!” says the eager man.
“Good!” she replies, “Get your own blanket!”