#1. The owner of a clothing store, returning from lunch, was met by his jubilant salesman.

“C.J.,” exulted the salesman, “I just sold that suit that had been hanging for years in the corner!”

Owner: “You mean the plaid, double breasted one with the pink lapels and the gold stripes running down the bell-bottomed trouser legs?”

Salesman: “Yes, and I got top dollar for it, too!”

Owner: “Nice going—-but why is your hand bandaged?”

Salesman: “As the customer was leaving, his seeing-eye dog bit me.”

#2. The rescue party arrived at the scene of the plane crash. The sole survivor was observed leaning against the fuselage. He was surrounded by a small mountain of bones and was busily gnawing at another one.

Noting the aghast stares of the rescuers, he remonstrated, “Look, I know what you’re thinking. But I had to survive. It has been done before. Think of the Donner party!

Said the leader of the group, “Yes, but good God, man–your plane went down only last night….”

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