Our speaker on April 21st, Max Collinge, in a succinct presentation, maintained that Emotional Intelligence and body language are better predictors of one’s success than an IQ, Citing his own rise from the depths of poor self-image and directionless existence, he came to develop social skills by employing a few vital principles.
Much is based on the Vagus nerve, a structure responsible for the difference between comfort and panic. How we think of ourselves determines how we comport ourselves and, in turn, how others regard us. The development of five character traits often makes all the difference:
- Love for oneself and the other person leads to favorable body language (i.e. a deep breath that stimulates the Vagus) and a feeling of sociability.
- Intellectual Honesty. Speaking one’s mind and not withholding opinions helps to burn off resentment, leads to clearer speech, truth, honesty, and transparency. One is thus able to speak reasonably and vent what is on one’s mind, obviating negative thoughts.
- Emotional vulnerability. Allowing this to show on one’s face is preferable to a masking smile. It communicates how we really feel.
- A genuine interest in other people, especially in cases of strained relationships, is a good trait. Be tuned in, pick up emotional cues. Ask people about themselves. All of this can be soothing.
- Self-direction. Have pride, hold the head up high, and believe you have the capacity. This results in self-assurance.
He asserts that if we think of which of the five keys with which we may have trouble, and work on them, good results may well ensue.
Comment: Some have the innate capacity. Others have to work at it.